Sunday, 16 February 2014

Listen to your heart..and your smart sister..

A little owl was sitting down on the branch of the apple tree. She was a little bit sad and couldn’t explain herself what was happening. Her life is, finally, completely in order..everything is fine..she is happy and satisfied..but..something is missing, and she was not sure what that is..

Sound of someone’s wings distracted her thoughts. It was her younger sister, smart and kind person who she extremely loves..

- You are blue again..it is really boring, my dear sister..cheer up, please..

- I don’t know what is happening. I am obviously not smart enough to understand. Everything goes well, can’t complain, but something is missing..can’t figure out what..

- Not what, stupid bird..it is better to say..someone is missing. Can’t you see..you fell in love with that crow and you can’t forget him!!! I can’t believe that!!!

- No, I’m not! It can’t be possible..no owl on the world can love strange creatures as crows are! OK, it is the fact that they are birds too, but they are too much different. Plus, I have never met him in the real life. I like him, it’s obvious, but loving him is something completely different. You should see someone, smell him, hear his voice and touch him..and even than you can’t be sure..love is a strange feeling..lies all the time and makes people stupid..

- No, you misunderstood everything..everything you said is true, but it is affection, not love. Love is clean and pure..it appears without a reason, and you can’t do anything about it..it is connected with someone’s mind, words, behaviour..you can love someone who you don’t know well, because he is a good person for you, and it is a question of the heart, not a question of the mind.. You can be affected with ones who torture you, but it is not real thing..you can make a mistake in that..but no one can make mistake with love..it is unique and we can’t find a reason and definition of that.. You, my little bird, love his brain..weird and strange, his point of life, his style of communication.. He made you laugh, and, be sure, when someone can make you laugh in every time, especially when you are tired or extremely sad, it have to be love..and there can’t be any mistakes..believe or not.. And I can’t understand how it is possible that you don’t know that?

- Maybe because love hurts and I decided many years ago that I do not want to love anybody on this world anymore! Especially not a strange crow who appears and disappears when he wants to, without a word of explanation. Hm..and I do not need to love him. He is impolite and horrible..and kind, and funny, and interesting and he has always tried to make my day.. But it is not important anymore. You are late with your explanations. As you know, he runs away. And I’m not even sure if he existed in reality or he was just an imagination sent in my life to make it easier..

- You should tell him.

- It is useless, I told you. He does not want to talk with me anymore. And, please, I’ve got my pride! I have never said anyone that I love him, even my fiancé, who I really loved. In my family, it was stupid to say something like that. It is some kind of weakness, you know that better than I do.

- I’m just curious..are you happy? Your fiancé died without one simple ‘I love you’, but you kept your pride! Was it worth? And your crow went away without it either. But, you have your pride, haven’t you? Proud and unhappy.. is it worth?

- But, I’m sure that he doesn’t care about my stupid feelings, whatever they are. He told me that he is never serious. He was drawing hearts and flowers as some kind of joke, you know. It is the fact!

- And, so? Who cares? You were lying yourself and him..even you did not know that..but you do know now! Please, tell him and carry on with your life without regret. In fact, it is easier on-line than face to face..accept it as some kind of blessing. And, what can you lose? Nothing! What can you get? Probably nothing either, but you can keep everything nice that he gave to you during those two months and carry it with you for the rest of your life, without any regrets. Maybe next time you will not mix up gratitude and real feelings..

- OK. It is done. Coward is dead, I promise. I love my crow and don’t care if it is stupid. Hmm..I can’t believe that saying that is simple like that  If I had known it earlier, maybe I would not have spent so many time in regret.. and, I won’t be sad anymore..maybe I will write a poem from time to time..to remember.. Plus, I have an excellent idea what can I paint for my crow. Well, I am painting again and it is fair making something nice for him even if I will probably never give him that present. But, it will be some kind of reminder that I need to change a way of thinking when we start to talk about that tough word as love is..

Eh..one more thing for the first time in my life..and it was unbelievable easy.. Thank you..